I love you so much my sweet baby boy, you make me the happiest mama. You have filled our world with happy tears, lots of joy and blessings. I am so grateful that you came into our lives…
As we approach your first birthday, there are so many things I want to tell you. I don’t know if I will ever fully be able to describe how much love I have for you, I could never image life without you, now that you are here. I hope that years from now you can look back on this letter and get a glimpse into what life was like for me during your first year. So my son, my love, this is a letter to you on your first birthday.
Almost a year ago, I remember so vividly at exactly six in the evening, my water broke just after I had had a cleansing shower and was about to blow-dry my hair. My husband drove instantly back from a wedding (that I thankfully didn’t attend) and by 7am, you had already entered our world. Birthing you was a magical experience, you came into the world with ease (an exactly 8 minute painful push) and when we held you in our arms the first time, I took on an entire new worry, which was to care about you, the best way possible, for the rest of your life. You were strong and cuddly with perfect skin and our bond was instantaneous. When I held you close, I knew that I was a completely different person from the woman who checked into the hospital. I vowed to be there for you for the rest of your life, the moment I saw you.
This year has filled my heart in an entire new way, a love that has felt deeper than ever before. We have the sweetest little boy; he is happy and content and the way he smiles at me, melts my heart. He is a charmer. I thought this first year was going to be much harder, but in all honestly, everything has felt natural and easy. The hardest part was the sleep deprivation in the beginning but shortly after time that changed for the better too.
The way you say “mamamama” or “dadada” is too cute and the way you hide when I say “peak a boo” to you. I love the routine we have built together; after a good night 12 hour sleep, you wake up bright and early just before 6am with a smile looking at us. In the mornings we cuddle as you want to be held closely and you insist on being held as I make my morning tea as you enjoy the steam coming out of the kettle. When you’d grasp for my finger and hold it tight, I promise you my dear boy that mommy will always be here for you. You make noises and laugh when Siena comes to greet you and your little grin makes us happy. You barely cry, love to explore or sit in the pram as we take our walks or morning latte runs and as we wind down together, bath time is some of your most precious time. One of my favourite quirks about you is that when you instantly get something soft in your arms (teddy, a fur blanket), you put your thumb into your mouth, lean against the soft surface and begin to sleep. It is the sweetest thing ever and it shows what a soft soul you have. I love that you sleep so well, it gives both mommy and daddy energy too and we love to do things together as a little family. We take you everywhere with us and you adapt to different circumstances so well. You are observant and curious with a strong determination. You are fixated to the remote control and if you get to hold it, it makes your day.
In a few days we will be leaving on holiday, where you will turn one. We love travelling with you, it will be our third holiday together already, creating memories in our favourite places. I feel so grateful to have this little boy in our lives, he makes everything more complete. I want you to know that you’ve changed me. You’ve made me stronger, braver and ready to face anything that comes my way.
Images: Roihuvisuals