Week 34 Pregnany

October first, which means we are officially at week 34 of this pregnancy. This means that the baby is around 45cm long from head to heel, and weighs about 2.1kg. That’s approximately the size of a school bag and the weight of a cantaloupe melon. Our due date is in the beginning of November, so really not far to go.

I haven’t’ been too active here about this pregnancy so I thought I could share how everything has been going as we soon reach the final stages of this journey. We only have a month to go, which feels absolutely surreal. I just started packing my hospital bag, in case the little one decides to come early. I was born a month early myself and so was my husband’s sister and they say, this can be in the gene pool.  However, there are no signs of labor yet, which is great so our little one can keep growing and developing as much as possible. At this point, I’ve gained 10kg of weight myself and apparently at the end, the weight generally escalates. Much throughout my second trimester, I had only gained about 6kg and clearly there is a difference during this last trimester. I would personally say that the second and third trimester have been relatively easy. I had no problems during the second at all, only during last week’s I’ve noticed the discomfort of a large belly. It is harder to feel comfortable sitting or standing and my legs get tired so much easier than usual. At times dog walks feel really heavy or walking up a flight of stairs. Thankfully though, I have not experienced any swelling to this day. I haven’t had any cravings either, which I’m grateful for, so I have had a somewhat normal diet throughout this journey. However, it is hard to find a comfortable position to sleep at this point, even with a pregnancy pillow. I feel the belly is pressing against all my organs, which not only creates discomfort but also acid reflux. I have had acid reflux for the past month at least, that has by far been my most annoying/uncomfortable symptom, as it is constant. I’ve never experienced acid reflux in my life before, but now it is daily and can be very bothersome. It’s the worst when you sleep, which makes it quite hard to get any rest. However, I keep telling myself it is temporary and at the end of the day, no matter what symptoms I have, I am extremely grateful we are this in our pregnancy. Additionally, my lovely friends threw me a baby shower, which was amazing to see all my girlfriends during this special time. It felt so heartwarming especially during the pandemic, as I have really limited my social life just to be on the safe side. They really gave me an energy boost to hustle through this last month. My husband, of course has been wonderful too and cannot wait to see him shine as a father, I know he will be amazing at it. We have purchased all the necessary baby supplies; the pram and crib are set up and the baby seats are installed in both our cars. I feel like, now the waiting game is about to begin and I’m going to take this last month to gather some energy, try resting as much as possible and enjoy the peaceful time before our lives will change forever. Currently, I’m not nervous about birth, but I have a feeling when the time comes, it will be a mix of all types of emotions, including nerves (and pain!). The best thing about this moment is defiantly feeling his strong kicks on a daily basis, which gives us comfort knowing everything is going as it should.

Happy autumn everyone, time to bring out pumpkin spice, cozy knits and enjoy the comfort of your home as the air gets crispier and darker.

A New Chapter.

Hey little one,

Already, we have waited for you for quite some time and I can’t believe I am looking down at my growing belly and feeling your little fluttering kicks. It still doesn’t seem real even though we looked at the +3 week positive pregnancy test early March and now I am past midway at 21 weeks. God bless everything goes smoothly and in November we get to hold you in our arms. I can’t wait to see the look on your daddy’s face when he sees you for the first time. My husband is the best gift I can give our future child as I know he will be an amazing father. My body has been changing in ways I didn’t think were possible. Just for you little one.

The journey here has not been easy. I think I have grown such a barrier of protection, after the countless negative tests that you try to coupe with the best way possible. We did all kinds of testing and there was nothing wrong with either of us, which made the process that much harder. Sometimes, infertility is unexplained which leaves you with no answers. Last year we had a glimmer of hope, but it was washed away with a miscarriage followed by an overwhelming degree of sadness that you force yourself to push through. Children’s birthdays felt hard, it is a dark cloud, even though you have a support group around you, it is something you need to grow from, on your own. However, those who have ever suffered from miscarriage know the type of scars it can leave you; you become scared with the sight of blood and you are left with worry, of it happening again. There is the fear of the unknown, that is unsettling. Siena has been a therapeutic addition to the family, as they say, animals often are. I was worried I would be left bitter and not happy for others’ growing families, until I realized I just needed time to let myself heal from all the pain.

I watched others’ grow their families, feeling sorry for myself and getting used to the idea that maybe we weren’t meant to have our own biological children. I kept thinking that maybe because we have such a good relationship, that is what was meant for us, as you can never get everything you wish for. We both agreed that we would still live a happy life together, just the two of us designing a new kind of life full of travels and adventure if that was in the cards for us. Still deep down, neither of us lost hope and luckily with a lot of patience and perseverance, we are here today, ready for a new chapter in our lives. Going through all these tough times together with my husband has taught us many important life lessons and brought us together in a different kind of way.

Looking at the future, I can only hope that we can be the parents that you deserve. We promise to guide you through life in the best way we can. We will let you make your own way but will never be too far behind to catch you if you fall. You are already, so loved little boy.

The little one.

Paula straight1 (1 of 1)

Motherhood

I had the pleasure of shooting my sister-in-laws pregnancy photos at their country house the other week and here are some of the results! I was seeking for a natural, earthy yet whimsical feeling to the pictures, so I played around with the sunlight and shadows for moments of over exposure. We were hoping for the cherry trees to be in full bloom, but there was no hope in that department! I’ve never done a pregnancy shoot before, but it was so much fun. There is something amazing about that bump, knowing there is a little one growing inside, tucked away, close to mom. The feeling is soft, gentle and almost magical, just like my tiny nephew inside of her. She looks stunning, a nordic meadow fairy surrounded with wind flowers that are a traditional Mothers day flower here in Finland. I can’t wait to meet the little bundle of joy. Motherhood is a gift and there are exciting times ahead.

paula dock1 (1 of 1)

paula dock2 (1 of 1)